Autism Alberta Alliance Update

Shino Nakane

On November 3, the Autism Alberta Alliance hosted a stakeholder engagement session with participants from all over Alberta. More than 120 key stakeholders registered to attend the event. Despite severe weather and driving conditions, 56 participants were able to make it to Red Deer.

From a regional perspective, we had exceptional geographical representation. Participants came from Grande Prairie, Fort McMurray, Edmonton, Red Deer, Alex, Olds, Calgary and even Canmore. Although a few individuals from places like Medicine Hat and Lethbridge attempted to brave the roads, the conditions made it unsafe for them to continue their journey.


Marie Renaud, MLA
Stakeholders included some of the main ASD specialist agencies and a wide diversity from other sectors: educators, health professionals, researchers, employment support, housing and intervention specialists, sports/recreation, parents, self-advocates, and many others.

Special guests included Marie Renaud, MLA for St. Albert and Deputy Chair for the Premier’s Council on the Status of Persons with Disabilities, who dazzled guests with her warm welcome and opening remarks to the group. A senior representative from the Inclusion and Accessibility Division of the Ministry of Community and Social Services participated in the day’s activities and networked with other participants. Representatives from the Autism Society Alberta Board and members from the Provincial Parent Advisory Committee were also present, lending their support to the formation of the Autism Alberta Alliance.



The opening session of the event was geared towards sharing ideas and best practices in five thematic areas: health care/medical, housing, home/family/community, employment/vocation, and school/education. Speakers with knowledge on these topics were invited to present a general environmental landscape and answer questions.

Participants also engaged in a World Cafe to share their experiences and expertise and talk about opportunities, objectives and measurements in the five key themes discussed above.

At the end of the session, individuals had an opportunity to share their perspectives on whether the initial objectives of the stakeholder engagement were met. Participants agreed that they had opportunities to:
  • Facilitate new connections
  • Foster shared awareness of current autism-focused work in Alberta
  • Create an initial vision for the Autism Alberta Alliance
  • Determine some core objectives for the Autism Alberta Alliance
  • Clarify some next steps

An emerging vision statement for the Autism Alberta Alliance also took form:

The Autism Alberta Alliance is… A collaboration. A knowledge hub. An advocate. An educator. It speaks with a unified voice to raise awareness of autism, cultivate acceptance, and foster accommodation across the lifespan and across all areas of Alberta in order to enhance the lives of individuals and families with autism.

With the momentum in full swing, the Autism Alberta Alliance will be preparing a report summarizing the stakeholder engagement findings, hosting a webinar for those that could not attend to offer their valuable input, and planning our next steps.

Communicating Through Sign: How a Focus on Communication Reduced Violent Outbursts for a Teenaged Student with ASD

Ashley Biffert, Abu Jabbie, Michael Edward, Gerry Gabrielle & Myles Bingham
Yunis is a high school-aged student who is on the Autism Spectrum and is non-verbal. When he first arrived at the Aspen Proogram at Woodside, he presented with limited communication abilities and frequently engaged in violent outbursts. For staff working with Yunis, it was a challenge to move past anecdotal stereotypes and work with him to improve and develop basic methods of communication. With a team commitment to establishing a safe and welcoming environment, as well as teaching and reinforcing basic American Sign Language (ASL) techniques, Yunis was able to communicate basic needs and participate in the school community in a socially appropriate manner.

Arrival at Aspen Program & Staff Disregard for Generic Stereotypes

When Yunis started at the Aspen Program, the classroom team that consisted of one teacher and two educational assistants (EAs) refused to accept preconceived notions that a student who was non-verbal and a teenager could not understand or be taught new communication methods. There was a commitment from the entire school team to reinforce positive interactions and to create a base of signs that would enhance Yunis’ ability to participate comfortably and thrive in a school setting.

Alphabet Letter and Sign Recognition
Yunis’ Baseline Communication upon Arrival at School & Mastery List of Signs

Yunis was able to communicate via three consistent signs: eat, home and bathroom. Through collaboration with family and the Inclusive Learning Team, the classroom team set a list of signs that may enhance Yunis’ ability to communicate and fulfill his expected student role at school. This initial list consisted of the following:

“W”

Yunis’ Numeracy Practice

Break (I need a break now)

Thank you

How Did We Do It?

To teach a new sign and have it entrenched in Yunis’ vocabulary, staff would model and verbalize the sign multiple times in an authentic situation. First, Yunis needed to present as calm, focused and attentive. Ms. Biffert or Mr. Jabbie would ensure Yunis’ attention was on the designated task by asking Yunis to point, and asking him to “show your eyes, show your nose, show your mouth – are you listening?” Once Yunis was able to respond to these cues, staff would introduce, model and state the sign until he successfully replicated the sign progression. This often took 5-10 attempts.

Yunis had “First/Then” charts with a two-step plan for him to “first” complete schoolwork or a task, “then” receive a positive reinforcement. On this chart were generic pictures of the signs that were new, as well as the signs he had mastered.

When Yunis fatigued, there was a possibility that he might become aggressive or anxious and act out physically by punching or biting himself or others. Once he mastered the “break” (I need a break) sign, his anxiety and outbursts were reduced, as staff consistently granted him a break and appropriate activity to reset or relax. Being able to sign for a break appeared to increase Yunis’ autonomy and independence, ultimately allowing him to spend more time in the classroom with his peers.

Timeline for Success

Yunis arrived at the Aspen Program in September 2016, and staff started to work with his family to learn about his needs, strengths and areas of improvement. The teaching and practicing of signing started in October and was ongoing throughout the entire school year. This included many failed attempts, resets, and a lot of perseverance before success was finally achieved.

Yunis’ Current School Experience

This school year, Yunis is now creating signs that he attributes meaning to, and then demonstrates the meaning of those signs to staff. This may indicate that he has an increased sense of personal autonomy, now that he is more comfortable in expressing his daily needs and preferences.

Through a commitment from this classroom team to teach, reinforce and accept Yunis’ own signs, he is now able to engage in socially appropriate school activities each day. Yunis can now work on a 24-piece floor puzzle, eat in an appropriate timeframe and manner, clean his area, dress for the weather, and communicate with all members of the school community. Today, Yunis now practices signs to represent numbers and letters on a daily basis. He uses an iPad app to work on technology to access preferred songs. Yunis’ advances in communication continue today. The daily use of sign language for this student with autism has improved his ability to communicate and participate at school.

Yunis “first” providing community service to “then” earn a preferred activity in 2017

This classroom team is a part of Institutional Services Schools within the Edmonton Public School Board. They work to support positive behaviour and build life skills for success in school and in the community.

November Update from Autism RMWB

Tina Delainey
Hello again from the Autism Society of the RMWB. We have had a really busy few months with all of our events and fundraising!
On September 17 we had a bottle drive, and our volunteers did an amazing job helping to collect and sort bottles. The community was very giving, and we raised almost $1400.

On September 22 & 23 we fundraised by running a hot dog stand. All products and BBQ supplies for the two-day event were provided by The Real Canadian Superstore. It was great to be in the community meeting people, and we collected a lot of signatures on a petition to bring Henson Trust legislation to Alberta.

On October 24th we had the pleasure of Dr. Anthony Bailey presenting an information session to parents, caregivers and employers on transitioning adults into the workforce.
We followed up the next morning with a seminar on employing persons with ASD and other barriers, presented by Dr. David Nicholas. Chef2You catered a hot breakfast.

On October 28 & 29 the Boys and Girls Club of Fort McMurray hosted their Junior Boo carnival and invited us to offer our Sensory Store in their community market. It was two full days of fun for all!

In our sensory store we are now selling new items like magnetic putty and stress relief Squishy Balls. We also have gift baskets, homemade hot chocolate, cookies, and jars of homemade soup.

We are very excited to be paired with Educare again this year for Sensitive Saturdays. Once a month, parents and caregivers can get together, and their children can have some time in the sensory room. Big thanks to Educare for the use of their room!

It’s also that time of year we have Christmas markets booked every weekend.

For the upcoming months we have:

  • Support 4 Moms Society monthly support meetings
  • A Poinsettia Fundraiser on November 20th
  • On November 26th, our Christmas Party
  • A fundraising opportunity, volunteering for two nights hosting a Christmas party on December 1st & 2nd
  • March Bingos

For more event/fundraising details or if you would like more info, please contact us or visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/AutismRMWB/

All the best from Autism Society of the RMWB!

Sincerely,

Autism Society of the Regional Municipality of Wood Buffalo
780-742-4424
AutismSupport@AutismRMWB.org

Board Game Cafe for
Adults with Autism

Where
Centre for Literacy, Suite 100, 9797-45 th Avenue NW, Edmonton T6E 5V8

When
Every second Thursday evening until June from 7:15 to 9:30 pm; next meeting on November 30th

Cost
There is no cost to participate, but pre-registration is required

Registration
Call the Centre for Literacy at 780-434-3698 or email info@Centre4Literacy.com

Games
Participants will decide! Games like Dungeons and Dragons, Carcassone or Hive are sure to be in the running.

Companions
Companions and volunteers are most welcome. There is ample room for everyone to relax and mingle.

Organization
This program is being coordinated by Jaime, a Recreation Therapist, who will do her best to make sure everyone has a great time.

Research
This program is being evaluated as part of a research project led by the University of Calgary’s Dr. David Nicholas. All participants will be asked to participate in the research project, but involvement is totally voluntary. Participants do not need to agree to be part of the research project to participate in the Board Games Café. The University of Calgary Conjoint Faculties Research Ethics Board has approved the research study.

Sponsorship
This program is being co-sponsored by the Centre for Literacy and the Larry and Janet Anderson Philanthropies.

The Centre for Literacy is a friendly site for people using wheelchairs or those who have mobility issues.

Who Will Take Care of Our Kids (When We No Longer Can)? – Part 6

Carolyn Dudley & Shino Nakane
In this month’s installment of Who Will Take Care of Our Kids, we take one last look at gaps in services for aging adults with autism, and the challenges they face.


Mentorship Access
A number of stakeholders noted the lack of mentorship available both for parents and for higher-functioning self-advocates. This concept would offer great hope to others. This gap was noted numerous times, and highlights a significant issue. However, one stakeholder (Gateway) did describe a mentorship program they had created. The program was built around volunteer time from families, using Facebook to host presentations and discussions. This venue gave families the chance to network and tell their stories about what they are doing and what is working. Unfortunately, no other key government individuals or other stakeholders knew anything about this program. These findings underscore an emerging theme in the interviews: there are great ideas and services across Canada, within provinces and even within cities, but parents, individuals, agencies and government workers are not aware of these resources. In this example, the mentorship support suggested by one stakeholder from the general developmental disability field was offered by another stakeholder agency in the autism field.

The Need for a Quality Workforce
Compounding care challenges is a lack of skilled front line workers. In Alberta, there is no formal certification required to work with individuals with a developmental disability. Many front line workers in agencies are not trained specifically on the unique challenges of ASD, and they may be required to perform additional medical care with no formal medical training. Perhaps even more important is finding the right people. There is a need for individuals who are compassionate, caring and go the extra mile to learn about the interests and needs of the individual with ASD; and who continue to create and build a good quality of life for them. Not all providers, even if they are well-trained, are the best people.
“You need a number of checks and balances so there is always a backup. After all, this is a human enterprise.”
 – Stakeholder Quote

Lack of Public Awareness of the Challenges
As one stakeholder said:
“I think there is an idealistic view in society that families will take care of their ASD child. That is not always going to be the case, so then what?”
 – Stakeholder Quote
It is most likely that the general public have limited knowledge of the lifelong challenges families and persons living with ASD face. Although this concept was not raised often, it needs to be brought forward as a longstanding gap and a possible reason why there is not strong political will to make significant changes in the world of disability supports. Without significant political pressure, there is less urgency to address this complex, costly, and difficult issue.

Fragmented Systems of Support
One final observation by the writers of this report, not based on stakeholder interviews, was that there exists a serious problem with fragmented and variable supports. A number of times in this consultation process, agencies or individuals that identified a gap were unaware of other agencies or services that may have ideas to fill it. Examples of this were seen in the creation of a network where adult disability service providers were unaware of agencies already doing this work; the need for a mentorship program when another organization was already doing work in this area; and the creation of a support and care plan template that was already available in another province. Across Canada, within provinces, and even within the same city, there may exist resources and supports that parents and individuals are unaware of. Even if they are aware, the effort to seek out, to meet, to co-ordinate, to do the work, and produce a plan is a lot to ask of aging lifelong caregivers of children and adults with ASD. In addition, this fragmentation causes the re-invention of the wheel of work and added financial strain, both on parents and government; and this is simply a waste of resources.
“Services for adults with developmental disability are fragmented, confusing and complex. Hundreds of agencies exist that make it impossible for families to navigate. Systems are multi-layered, inconsistent, a confusing web of providers, and wait lists lead families and individuals to the brink of disaster.”
 – Ontario Report


In next month’s issue, we’ll be looking at some of the innovative ideas that exist to fill the gaps in services for adults with autism.

Delivering Jobs with Purpose

We are thrilled to see the progress the Edmonton business Anthony At Your Service has made at creating visible, meaningful and well paid employment for adults with autism and intellectual disabilities. Check out this fantastic TELUS STORYHIVE – Delivering Jobs with Purpose Video or visit their website www.anthonyatyourservice.com to learn about this unique model of employment.

Visual Supports for Autism: A Step by Step Guide

Maureen Bennie
From the Autism Awareness Centre, Inc. Blog:

People on the autism spectrum tend to learn best using visual supports rather than through auditory input. Seeing it, rather than saying it, helps the person retain and process information. Temple Grandin, the most famous woman in the world with autism, describes being a visual thinker in her excellent book Thinking in Pictures.

How can visual supports be used?
With visual supports you can:
  1. Create daily/weekly schedules with visual blocks of time
  2. Show sequential steps in a task such as a bedtime routine or getting dressed
  3. Demonstrate units of time
  4. Make a “to-do” list
  5. Aid communication for those who are less or non-verbal
  6. Offer choices
What exactly is a visual support?
Visuals supports can be pictures, objects, sign language or text. They can come in a variety of forms. Some examples of programs that generate visuals are:

Boardmaker (Mayer-Johnson) – This popular software generates Picture Communication Symbols (PCS) and other graphics. The draws are line drawings and not actual photos. Boardmaker does not work for every child because some children do not understand what the line drawings mean.

Communicate: SymWriter (formerly Writing with Symbols) – A different approach to writing, reading and literacy development, this program is a talking word processor that matches symbols to words to help students of all ages and abilities increase comprehension and fluency. Writing activities challenge students with a focus on creating summaries, biographies, letters, persuasive papers, reports and reviews. A great tool for students with limited spelling abilities or those who have trouble accessing a keyboard, SymWriter comes equipped with symbol-supported grids for writing, making independent engagement in assignments and projects possible for all students.

PictureSET – A collection of downloadable visual supports that can be used by students for both receptive and expressive communication in the classroom, at home, and in the community. This searchable database allows you to find a wide range of useful visual supports for different curriculum areas, activities, and events. PictureSET resources are created and updated by dedicated professionals working with students in British Columbia.

Visual Suite DVD – This is a new product that has thousands of photos in situations often encountered in everyday life, like chores, money, school supplies, what’s different, and many more.
Can I make my own visual supports?
Some of these programs tend to be expensive and not everyone can afford them. An alternative to buying a pre-packaged product is to make your own visuals. You can achieve this in a number of ways:
  • By taking photos with a digital camera
  • Cutting out pictures from print media such as magazines or old calendars
  • Dollar stores can be a great place to find inexpensive visuals.

We Want to Hear From You!

We are looking to publish stories, event notices or news items from all parts of the province. If you’d like to have your items included in the December 2017 issue of Autism Around Alberta, please send your submissions to AAA@autismalberta.ca by the deadline of December 15, 2017.

“Live it to Understand It”: The Experiences of Mothers of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Article Summary by Rachel Pagaling
There has been emerging research focusing on examining the diverse perspectives of family members of children with ASD. A recent qualitative study (interview-style) from the University of Calgary was launched with the goal of spreading awareness and highlighting the perspectives of mothers of children with ASD, and stress the importance of further research in this area. Eighty-five mothers of children under the age of 25 were recruited from pediatric health care and rehabilitation centers in three Canadian cities (Edmonton, Calgary, and Toronto). These mothers were all asked the following question: “What are the roles and experiences of mothers who are raising a young person with ASD?” Seven key themes emerged from their answers.


1. Journey of navigating through ASD. Following the diagnosis of their children, mothers described having to assume the roles of researcher and coordinator of services for their children. Mothers reported that access to services was determined by whether or not their child met certain thresholds, including age and cognitive ability (e.g., IQ score). Many mothers expressed their frustration with the eligibility criteria needed in order to retain specific services. In addition to seeking services and funding, frustration grew further when services were denied or abruptly terminated due to restrictive policies or waitlists. One mother said, “How can you get therapy for a child with ASD [at] forty hours a week and then go to zero?” Another mother said, “I wish …that he would wake up and not have ASD, but that’s not going to be the case.”

2. “Living and breathing ASD” – A New Form of Motherhood. Mothers often reported that their role vastly exceeded the demands associated with mothering a typically developing child. Mothers described caring for their child with ASD as “a full-time job”, and reported daily feelings of fatigue and weariness. The impact of ASD was described as pervasive, affecting their thoughts, plans, and actions on a daily basis. One mother said, “Every day we always think, ‘what are we going to do for him, what can we find that would help him be better?’”

3.Exhaustion and Relational Isolation. Several mothers described how their child’s ASD inspired less compassion and empathy from others due to its relative invisibility and the form of its social/behavioural expression. One mother said, “You don’t get the warm fuzzies from [ASD].” Other mothers reported experiencing hurtful comments regarding their child’s behaviours: “They look at you [and him]…you can’t see anything wrong with him, and he’s a beautiful boy, but he’s acting out. So they think he’s just bad.” However, mothers are finding ways to educate others and seek greater acceptance of their children. One mother places a button on her son’s hat that reads “I’m not misbehaving, I have ASD, please be understanding.” By using such techniques, mothers reported less direct criticism from others.

4. Living With Uncertainty: The ongoing reality and daily challenge. The process of raising children with ASD consists of sporadic changes in the child’s skill development or behaviours, dilemmas in inconsistency, setbacks in seeking services, and difficulty determining effective interventional options. Mothers reported that their stress and fear were amplified by not knowing the future of their child’s physical and mental state, as well as when or where to find resources. Mothers of adolescents and adults often expressed concern with regard to how their youth would fare after parents could no longer provide care.

5. An “ASD-informed” Maternal Identity. Taking on the added roles of researcher, advocate, and coordinator of services caused many mothers of children with ASD to form a new sense of maternal identity. As a result of this broader sense of identity, these mothers felt a sense of “heaviness”. This complex maternal identity also created a series of tensions: love yet fear; devotion yet exhaustion; and planning yet uncertainty. This mix of feelings was caused by the impact of social, behavioural and other ASD-related challenges, combined with the challenge of obtaining and retaining sufficient services for their child. Mothers faced personal and even financial difficulties, including decreased income, rearranging present and future experiences, chronic exhaustion, and decreased life choices. In contrast, others viewed this maternal identity as being purpose-defining. They spoke of personal growth and viewing themselves as better people over time.

6. Redefining Success. The sense of purpose and definition of success reportedly shifted over time for mothers of children with ASD. One mother described the process of redefining maternal and child expectations as “very painful” and “heart-wrenching.” Several mothers reported an immense sense of pride and happiness in events that others would see as normal:

When my kid makes an initiation at a play group and asks another kid to play, I’m “over the moon,” in a way that another parent would never even [notice or find significant]. Those accomplishments are valued in a way that other parents don’t value them, and I might not have valued them if ASD weren’t involved.

Some came to a new understanding and sense of meaning regarding their child’s differences: “[With] ASD, there are things you just can’t do. There are things that you need to decide [to give up on] because this is what’s more important.” One mother felt that she had finally found a way to experience “a good life with ASD.”


7. Lessons From Mothering a Child With ASD. The last theme that emerged from with study was that, despite the substantial challenges associated with caring for their child with ASD, mothers also experienced learning and growth. Mothers have described how their children with ASD provided them with a new sense of purpose and direction in life. Furthermore, mothers talked about how they had become less judgmental of others. “You learn not to be judgmental of other people, because you have got to walk a mile in somebody else’s shoes to know what it’s like.” This transformative journey, consisting of personal and daily challenges, brought depth and meaning to the mothers’ lives. The process and the unique journey of living as a mother for a young person with ASD is exemplified perfectly in one mother’s statement: “You have to live it to understand it.”

This study highlights the struggle and meaning associated with mothering a child with ASD. It acknowledges and honors the perspectives of mothers, and sheds light on their struggles, revised expectations, resilience, and growth. Its ultimate goal is to generate greater awareness of the pressing challenges facing mothers of individuals with ASD, and to make it a clinical and policy priority to help them face and overcome these challenges.

References
Nicholas, D. B., Zwaigenbaum, L., Ing, S., MacCulloch, R., Roberts, W., McKeever, P., & McMorris, C. A. (2016). “Live it to understand it”: The experiences of mothers of children with autism spectrum disorder. Qualitative Health Research, 26(7), 921-934. doi:10.1177/1049732315616622

Autism Calgary’s Holiday Party


Sunday, December 10, 2017
11am-2pm
Mount Royal University, Ross Glen Hall
Free parking

Come join Autism Calgary to celebrate the holiday season in style… with an autism- and sensory-friendly party! Featuring a lunch, face painting, Santa, and holiday music provided by pianist Claire Butler and singers from Silver Stars Musical Revue Society.

*Gluten and dairy-free options available

$5 for adults
FREE for children aged 0-18
FREE for individuals with ASD

Autism at the Mall

Peter Locke is an avid electronic music composer and computer game developer who lives in Calgary with his dog Cassie. His music has been featured in advertisements and educational videos for numerous small Canadian businesses as well as in a NASA online educational game called Space Forensics (check it out here). His five games (Fireball, The Wizja, Sumo Fighter, Autism at the Mall and Sword of Clay) can be found at his website www.petermobeter.com. Autism at the mall is a game that Peter made to help others understand in a fun way what it is like for individuals with autism when they are having sensory overload in a busy environment like a mall. The aim of the game is to avoid the NTs (neurotypicals) and find your way to your mom at the other end of the mall.

The Dinner Party Superhero

Erin Peden
It had been almost five years since the last time we had gone to dinner at someone’s house who was not related to us (and therefore obligated to love us post-meal). We had basically ditched socializing as a whole years ago when we first discovered that our son’s activity level, paired with unpredictable behaviour, was more than any party could handle. Accepting a dinner invitation was a really big deal for us.

This particular family were no strangers to the level of activity within our home, so I was a little more confident in their resiliency should the event go sideways – but I was extremely nervous all the same.

The preparation started early in the day, and was reinforced for the seven hours that followed.

“You need to use your powers,” I told him. ‘Powers’ is a term we have used since he was a wee one. It’s our way of encouraging him to work through overstimulation – whenever he has managed to behave appropriately, we’ve always told him that he was using his super-powers.

“We are in someone else’s home tonight,” I went on. “It is extremely important you work to keep your body calm. If you start to feel hot or angry, you need to come see me right away, and I will help you cool down.”

Heat is how my son’s body responds to anything that makes him uncomfortable. His response to being overheated is usually unanticipated physical retaliation; anger and frustration. We generally travel with an ice pack and watch for triggers, and the second he indicates agitation, we slap the cold pack onto the back of his neck and wait for the storm to pass.

But when you’re in someone else’s home you don’t have the same quick access to your children that you do in your own safe space. Children play and roam – they get to explore and be nosy on a level that is completely unacceptable for adults. I couldn’t shake the worry that he would lose his patience or become physical before I could anticipate his mood.

“You have to listen to your body,” I harped at him. “It’s really important to mommy that you use nice words and stay calm tonight.”

The day passed, the evening rolled in, and before we knew it, we were pulling up to the house with happy greetings and smiles. It was mere moments before the children scattered to embark on their dinner party adventures. About 15 minutes into the pre-dinner conversation our son approaches the group of adults and stands at attention as though he is giving a speech at a school assembly.

“Mommy,” he announces. “I have something to tell you.”

Now, keep in mind that socially appropriate behaviour isn’t really his jam. When your kid stands at attention with an announcement for a household of other people, the nerves start twitching.

“I am wearing shorts under my pants tonight,” he went on. “Then if I get mad at the kids for doing something I don’t like, I can take my pants off and stay cool.”

Suddenly I became acutely aware of the outfit he had on. Buttons?! He was wearing a button-down shirt. Jeans?! He hates jeans. I had been so wrapped up in my own emotions about the evening that I failed to recognize the effort he put into choosing his outfit for this special occassion.

“Excellent choice,” I said, before he ran off again to join in on the youthful fun. Sure enough, two minutes later he ran by with the troupe, sans pants.

As the evening progressed, we made it through dinner with only a few somewhat uncouth conversations at the table. He always has something to say about the way chicken is prepared or how someone looks or smells. In this case, he openly commended himself for not hitting the child beside him; but because he didn’t hit the kid beside him, we considered the awkward discussion a win. He did manage to completely toilet-paper the basement playroom, and his expressively hyperactive behaviour may have wound up our hosts’ golden retriever puppy like a top on speed. But still, nothing was broken, no private spaces were openly invaded, no feelings were hurt from his exceptional honesty, and no other children were bleeding or bruised.

He was almost completely naked, and we had to continually prompt him to leave the remaining buttons on his shirt done up until we got home, but all things considered, he was using his ‘powers’.

When it was time to depart, my husband and I began the herding ritual that almost always ends up in the two of us carting him, kicking and screaming, out of the house. Transitions are never smooth – and after I prepared our hosts for his regular response, my son just opened the front door and made his way to the vehicle. Of course, he left the front door open, which resulted in everyone trying to catch the golden retriever puppy who was now happily galavanting across the neighbour’s yards. But nonetheless, my son was in the car, headphones on, rocking and humming – naturally regulating himself like a boss.

After the dog was captured and all crises were diverted, the rest of our team climbed into the car and we made our way home.

Before we even rolled into our driveway, I found myself in tears about the evening’s success.

My son was so desperate to take part in a social evening out that he used every super power he had. He recognized the possibility of becoming deregulated and built his outfit to suit his sensory needs. No! Even more than that – he pushed himself to overcome his sensory issues with buttons and scratchy pants in order to look handsome and put together at the function (if only for a few minutes, before his alterations were required). He acknowledged his own body’s cues: when he started to overheat and become excited, he didn’t need to be told he needed to cool down – he made the adjustment himself. And when it came time to process the transition of leaving, he found a quiet place to calm and regulate himself.
I had never been so proud.

Or emotional.

Or exceptionally thankful for the people in this world who will give inclusion a chance – which in this case was no more than a simple dinner invitation.

My husband shut the car off, and I pulled my sleepy and scantily clad son from the vehicle.

“How are ya doing?” I asked him.

“Good,” he said. “I used my powers.”

I wiped away a tear and hugged my little dinner party superhero.