Hardly Eating Anything!

Can you count on one hand the foods your child will eat? Perhaps your family has concerns about nutrition. Maybe your child’s weight is below average as a result. I went through the very same thing with Eric when he was younger, and still have to prep him when I want him to give a new food a chance.

There are so many strategies I’ve used over the years. Today let’s just concentrate on one strategy: make food a play thing! Invent a lot of play opportunities that involve food, when there is NO pressure to eat. This is not done at meal time, and maybe not even at the table where you normally eat, but in places in your home that are associated with fun.

For some people with autism, part of the problem is that they need to build up trust and confidence with food. Meaning, they need to have many experiences with food so that they slowly learn to cope with the overwhelming input that comes through their senses. In this way, you help to prevent them from feeling the overpowering fear and stress they may associate with food, and therefore increase their interest and comfort in eating other things.

Don’t tell them what to do in the activities; show all the ways you can think of participating, by doing it yourself. Be expressive with your words and your facial expressions. Show by example that you can touch the food, smell it, lick it, put it some on your nose or chin and laugh. Lay cooked spaghetti over your head to make long hair.

You can do an internet search and find LOTS of ideas, but here are some examples of activities to get you started:

• Draw/paint with food using your fingers on a cookie tray. Try using pudding, thickened tomato sauce, condensed cream soups (don’t add water), yogurt, condiments (ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise), etc.
• Make mountains out of thick mashed potatoes, perhaps with gravy to make lava for a volcano.
• Make faces or create pictures with a variety of food on a cookie tray or cutting board (could be veggies, fruit, rolled up sandwich meat, shrimp, even fruit salad – use your imagination).
• Use whipped cream or Cool Whip like shaving cream. Look in the mirror and put on a beard like Santa Clause (or some other person they know with a beard) and then let them shave it off using a small, stiff piece of waxed cardboard (cut up old greeting cards?), or anything safe that has a straight edge.
• Find the treasure: put small items of special interest to your child (e.g. plastic dinosaurs or cars, marbles, plastic characters, marbles, numbers or letters, etc.) in a small-to-medium-sized plastic storage container (transparent, if you have one). Fill it up with food, e.g. cooked pasta (cooked firm, with a bit of butter so it doesn’t stick together), cooked porridge, cubed jello, cooked rice, etc. Then mix up the food and the ‘treasure’ and let them find it.
• Cold play: provide a bowl with some plain ice cubes in it. As an alternative, freeze berries in the ice cubes for added interest. Provide other frozen foods for finger play or art, like French fries, frozen vegetables or fruit, popsicles, ice cream, etc.
• Warm play: some of the activities above can start out as warm play, such as the Find The Treasure game (when using cooked pasta, rice, or porridge), or the mashed potato mountain-building activity.

Here are some helpful tips for fun food activities. If they don’t want to touch it with their hands at first, offer a small paint brush, spoon, fork, spatula or tongs. If putting whipped cream on their face is too much to start with, maybe they’d be willing to shave the ‘beard’ off of you. Have colour theme days, like orange day (play with cheese, carrots, yams, oranges, etc). Also try mixing coloured foods. Will ketchup and mustard mix turn orange? Will mayonnaise and ketchup turn pink?

Most important to remember at all times: this is for fun, with no pressure or expectations of eating, touching or tasting. Keep fun in your heart, on your face and in your voice while doing these food games. Watch your child’s face for signs of joy, relaxation and laughter. And when you least expect it, the joy will be on your face when he actually eats a new food!

Kitty is the mother of a son with severe autism, a former special needs educational assistant, a Director of Autism Society Alberta, and the owner of Autism Inspirations.

Into Adulthood

Having ASD makes for an interesting world view. Sometimes this world view is very clear cut, black and white. For me, by the time I turned 18, I felt like I knew the world already. After all, I had become a legal adult, and of course I knew what I was doing. When I was 18 there were a few things I knew. I knew I was going to make six figures a year out of high school, I knew I was going to buy a big house at 20 years old, and I knew I was going to show my parents and every other grownup that they were “adulting” wrong. I often think about how, if I were able to go back in time and try to talk sense into that arrogant young man, the conversation would be completely futile. When I began to experience the adult world in its entirety, I found myself getting kicked by bills, taxes, and the other financial surprises an experienced grownup is all too accustomed to. I became sincerely depressed. None of my plans had worked out the way they were supposed to.

I was a headstrong youth, and my feelings were easily hurt from misunderstandings caused by ASD, misunderstandings that were further exacerbated by my ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). For me, becoming an adult was like going to the movies expecting to watch The Shawshank Redemption, and instead being treated to Regarding Henry. Both are okay (though one is superior in almost every way), but it’s unexpected, and jarring. I was warned, as every teen will be, about the trials and tribulations surrounding adult life, but my arrogance prevented me from listening. I remember my parents sometimes exclaiming that it was like talking to a wall. I would shut down when being offered advice – I just didn’t want to hear it.

My first two adult years were incredibly humbling. They changed how I viewed the world and how I acted in it. My parents could have easily made my life easier from the ages of 18 to 21. They could have “protected me” and allowed me not to fail, not to experience. Being able to fail or make mistakes was the greatest gift I have ever received. Had I not left and made mistakes and suffered for those failures I would not be the man I am today, and so I’m grateful to have made those mistakes. It was so incredibly important that I go out on my own and try. Not only did I learn from each and every error, but I also learned how to take responsibility for myself. I learned the value of saying “I’m sorry” and actually meaning it.

Am I making six figures a year? No. Do I own a huge house? No. Did I show everyone they were “adulting” wrong? Not even close. Am I self-sufficient? Well, kind of, though I think it would be very difficult for me to navigate this world without my beautiful wife. If you feel like life is kicking you, remember you aren’t alone: it does that to most people. When you go into adulthood, make mistakes often and learn from them whenever possible.